I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
