he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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