I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Randomize
