ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
