I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Randomize
