She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I AM VODKA MAN
I just had sex on a roof
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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