we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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