i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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