Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize