God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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