i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
