sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
They have beer where we have blood.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
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