Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Randomize
