I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
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