I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Randomize
