The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Randomize
