Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Randomize
