O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
