there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
