He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
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