69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
