If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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