Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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