Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Just high enough for therapy.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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