My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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