I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
