More tranny stories later!
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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