After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
