Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
