i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Drake has all the answers
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
