That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
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