I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
