last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize