im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
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