Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize