Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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