I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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