Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
