Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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