My hair reeks of homosexuality.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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