Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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