Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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