If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
