I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
