I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
