That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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