Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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