Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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