you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
