Do you still have your period?
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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