i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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