Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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