Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Someone came in the potted fern
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
