i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
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I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
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Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
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