ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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