you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
