It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
