I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
