My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
