I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
I would ride that face into the sunset
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Randomize