if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
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I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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