I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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