i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Randomize
