Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
i've created a new STD.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
