I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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