so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
