so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I just put wine in my tea
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize