There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
